Voices in My Head*

Ever have those days when it feels like there are just too many voices competing for their place in your mind? I have been having a lot of those lately. I’m not feeling brilliant at the moment, so don’t expect me to be witty or interesting, but I decided to just write out some thoughts (one of the voices in my head was yelling at me to write write write!) and finish up a blog post instead of agonizing over it eternally (which is what I do with much of my writing).

One of the things I think about a lot (with plenty of warring opinions) is parenting. There should be a book, don’t you think? Oh wait, there are (let her cry it out). About a million of them. Each certain that theirs (children must learn who’s boss) is the best way. I don’t read all that (you can’t spoil a baby) many of them, because I think most (don’t say “no”) of them are somewhat bunk-y. Or based on parenting philosophies I disagree (guide by time-outs) with. Or just too long and boring to bother with. (guide by love and reason) Whatever. The point is, that I don’t (guide by love unfeigned) read many of them, but even the ones I do read fill my head (don’t say “good job”) with differing pieces of advice. It’s exhausting. It’s even more exhausting when, after a long long day, my daughter wants yet one more story and I can’t even decide whether it’s better to spend more time together (and thus attempt to meet her needs) or remind her that she reached her story limit (and thus be firm in rule making). Tired tired tired.

It is hard clearing the voices and listening to the Spirit. Sometimes it is nearly impossible. Nevertheless, here are a few voices that I have appreciated over the last week or two. I think these might be about right, or at least they are something to think about (even if they don’t particularly tell me exactly what to do—which, let’s be honest, is sort of what I want sometimes). Pretty much this is sort of a linkdump; all those tabs in Firefox are getting out of hand again.

From http://thegiftofgivinglife.blogspot.com/2011/05/prophetess.html (which was thought provoking for me in terms of what it means to raise a child):

Back to the weightier matter of raising little prophets and prophetesses. This is no small task. But here’s the kicker. It is not so much about parenting skills as it is about getting over your stuff—your own personal stuff and your relationship stuff—so that you install as little as possible of it in your children. That way they can find and start their missions sooner.

When I say get over your stuff, I’m not talking about the sort-of-trying, thinking-about-it, small steps you may have been taking toward positive change. Small steps are good. But I’m talking quantum leaps. These are the last days. And the fact that you are here now today parenting these children means that you can quantum leap every day. If you are not already growing and transforming and healing from your past every day, then ask God how. Lay down all your old stories, including guilt about not being there already. Just move forward. Any time a woman does something to raise her own vibration, the entire family benefits. You know this to be true. When you are grouchy, the whole family follows. When you are joyful, they also trail along like little puppies.

Ask God where to look and what to do so that you can grow more each day than you ever have before. Pour your heart out to Him. Then be prepared to follow inspiration. This requires releasing attachment to what growth should look like. Ask your children to pray for you, too. Then get ready.

About commitment and the difference between “having options” and “keeping your options open”: http://thegiftofgivinglife.com/opposite-of-anxiety/

From my friend Derrill, about how part of parenting is trying to guide our children through discipline (and sometimes frustration) now so that they don’t have to suffer for mistakes later:

Thus we find ourselves in the very uncomfortable position of trying to make him truly regret his actions and desire to change. As I held him in loving but firm time out tonight until he finally began to be sorrowful, I pondered what it meant to be a father. This wasn’t about retribution or punishment - the actual offense had been very minor, and nothing I can’t remember doing at his age. But because of that I see afar off the misery he will bring to himself (and to us) if he cannot learn some very basic principles. I need to bring into the present a very small portion of that future sorrow so that he will see today the importance of a repentance whose real fruits won’t be felt in full for years.

In a way, this is how I feel about some of my students who had to receive failing grades this semester. If some of their earlier teachers had had the courage to tell them they had no mathematical background, they would not have had a difficult time in my class; but because someone let it slide then they have a consequence today. If I let it slide too, they will surely face a worse consequence further on down the road.

I ponder how God has tried to bring the future misery of my own decisions into my present to help me repent now and save myself an eternal weight of sorrow.

I ponder how to unite both a willingness to sacrifice anything so that he need not suffer with the need as a dutiful father to discipline.

It’s time to quiet down now, voices. I’m tired, my babies are asleep, and I want to go to bed. (ha ha ha, you think we’ll quiet down, but we won’t; good luck sleeping!)

*And might I just say that today has been a rather prolific blog day?