Five for Friday, Coriel edition

Good (and/or other) stuff Coriel has said this month:

Tragically, I have officially reached “worst mommy ever” status. I was hoping to make it at least until she turned five. Why am I the worst mommy ever, you ask? Because, at a restaurant after a funeral* we attended yesterday, she needed to go potty three times in a row. The first time I took her. The second time Brice took her. The third time I told her I had to take her again because Brice was holding Addra. She wailed and told me Daddy had to take her. I told her no. Hence, worst mommy ever.

She’s very into knock-knock jokes these days, and she makes them up all the time. “Why didn’t the head cross the road? … Because it didn’t have any arms, legs, or body! Ha ha ha!”

Here’s another one: “Why didn’t the mitten cross the road? … Because it was too chicken!”

She is always wanting to cook something. “Let’s make ____ (pudding, cake, rice cookies, etc.). It has rice, potatoes, corn, and especially meat.” [Insert all sorts of random ingredients for all of those, but rice is usually one of them. And she almost always includes the “especially” clause or a “most of all” clause.]

Today we were reenacting the scene from the Book of Mormon where King Lamoni has fallen over in his overwhelming joy. His wife, the queen, is concerned because it’s been two days and two nights and people think he’s dead. We all took turns being King Lamoni, the queen, and Ammon. When it was her turn to be Ammon, I (the queen) asked her what was going to happen to the king. She told me this: “He will stay asleep for two days and two nights, and he will not eat and he will not go potty.” I asked her what would happen then. She thought for a minute and replied, “Then he will have a pee-out.”

And now, on to Heather’s blog hop!

*In case you were wondering, it was the funeral of our very old next-door neighbor, Jim.

Embarrassment, Curry, and Other Good Stuff

Because Semi-Public Humiliation Just Isn’t Enough

You may have thought I wrote that letter, Hello, Jordan Sandberg, solely to amuse and horrify my current friends and family. You would be wrong. Through the magic of Facebook, I sent it to poor, unsuspecting “Jordan,” with whom I have had no contact for about 12 years. (And he even wrote back). It’s funny, really, because this event that was so monumental in my mind … he didn’t remember it. Oh yeah, he remembered liking me and all (phew! I’m not delusional), and he alluded to some other embarrassments (because, honestly, there were certainly enough to go around). But the ice skating incident … nada. Life is weird that way.

Please let it be noted, however, that he did remember my ability to read and walk at the same time. And he considered it one of my definite selling points.

Drum Roll, Please … The Lit Blitz

As you may recall, today my story gets posted to the Mormon Artist blog, and you can read it here. In case you are lacking for words to describe the sheer magnificence of my writing, I have taken the liberty of making some suggestions:

“Dear Jeanna,

Your story was brilliant. Like War and Peace, only shorter. Like Hamlet, except with fewer dead people. Like Finnegan’s Wake, but, you know, coherent. More moving than gravity. More touching than a toddler in a toy store. Truly, you have changed my life.

Sincerely, [insert your name here]”

This is just a suggestion, you understand.

Too Much Curry

It turns out that we are constitutionally incapable of making small batches of curry. What was supposed to be a “small” pot last week turned into a meal to feed about 8 or 9 hungry adults. Hooray for leftovers!

Sulking

A few days ago, we were eating some Valentine’s chocolate for dessert, and Coriel started begging for more. I told her, in a remarkably gentle voice, that she couldn’t have any more. Immediately she started to cry this wail that was just verging on fake. Then she paused, ran over to the couch, flopped on it, and started crying again. A moment later, she stopped again suddenly, looked up at me, and said, “That’s called sulking.” After which she began to cry again. She did not receive more candy.

Wearing, if I remember correctly, three jackets
and a few pairs of gloves.

Coats and Hats and Mittens, oh my!

Recently Addra is super jazzed about wearing as much clothing as possible. She sees jackets hanging on the rack by our front door or the rack in Coriel’s room, and she is determined that she must put them on. She points emphatically and makes that cute grunty-squeaky imploring noise “unh unh unh” until I take the coat down and put it on her. Then she wanders off to find another coat. Or mitten. Or sock. Or whatever.

P.S. And a thanks to Heather at Women in the Scriptures for getting me thinking about Five Things for Friday in the first place; join in the blog hopping fun.

mush-brain, but in a good way for once

[mushiness alert!]

It has now been 12 years. Thanks to our British forebearer's obsession with base 6, that's a really big year! Especially because it's nicely split into two 6-year segments by our marriage (best idea ever btw). So, a very happy vday to you my helpmeet, spouse, favorite person, friend, true love. My novelist, my veggie curry maker, my tolerator of incessant cookie baking, my amazing do-the-taxes-singlehandedly, organize reams of papers, knows where that one thing is girl, my jeweler (shiny!), my ticket to the celestial kingdom and the hands that are pulling, holding, guiding, (dragging?) me along the right path woman, my defender of women's traditional ways, my fellow geek, my editor who loves kerning and fonts and layout, my mathlete, my best-remedy-for-sickness, my tyrannynormous, my reader, my artist, my crafty crafty crafter (of crafts), my forever love, mine mine mine. And to go with all of that, I'm yours. I give my life to you, subsume my selfishness (try), help you as full partner to raise our children and make our home a refuge, and work to get us all to exaltation together. I know we can do it, because we're giving our lives but gaining a together-life that is so much better. I love you. Yours. Mine. Ours.

[end mushiness alert!]

Mormon Lit Blitz Ad

Finalists will be posted on the days shown in the poster (I’m on the 17th). Voting will be 1–15 March. Good times will be had by all.