Staring at Turtles

Last year (was it only last year? It feels so long ago), on a spontaneously planned vacation to visit my sister in Hawaii, we went down to Hanauma Bay for the famous snorkeling there.*

Hanauma Bay is bounded by a coral reef and a warm beach. Because it is sheltered from the buffeting of the ocean, the water is calm, clear, and filled with beautiful fish relaxing amid the coral. You can swim right along with them and admire their grace.

After I got past my highly developed gag reflex and pregnancy queasiness, Brice and I snorkeled around the bay in three lazy loops, and on the third loop we got the real prize. Only about twenty feet away was one of the great green sea turtles that sometimes visit the bay. These turtles are protected in Hawaii, and they are beautiful. So when they appear in the reef, you can see a gathering of snorkelers’ heads just bobbing on the surface, watching the turtle below.

I was one of the first to see the turtle, and I quickly tugged on Brice’s arm to make him turn around. I pointed and gestured for him to look. He turned, and together we sat there watching it move slowly, gracefully, through the water.

A few moments went by, and I turned to keep going, expecting Brice to follow. He didn’t. He just floated there, watching. And I realized I had been too quick to move on to the next moment, the next beautiful fish. So I went back, relaxed my shoulders, and let the moments slide by, just trying to soak it in.

Eventually we moved on, but I was so grateful for those few extra moments.

So often during my days with my two lovely children, my mind is drawn to what comes next. Do I need to start making lunch? What about our errand to the store? Do I have time to write a blog post today, and what should it be about? I spend so little time really with my children, just doing what they want to do, just enjoying their presence.

And while they are not an endangered species, those moments cannot last forever, and I regret the waste I make of so many of them. When I look into Coriel’s eyes as we talk, it is a different thing than speaking while I’m cleaning, or walking into another room, or (worst of all) reading a book. When I laugh and dance down the hallway with Addra, it is more precious than a clean living room (and let’s be honest, the living room isn’t ever clean anyway).

My family, when I really take the time to stare at them and see them with my whole heart, are far more beautiful than any sunset, any flower, any tropical fish, and even any sea turtle. I wish that I stared at them more often.

*Marneen and Meghan, you’ll have to forgive me anything I got wrong here about Hawaii or the bay. My memory is not always so great.