Schooling for the Stays: A Q&A

A Q&A About the Schooling Right Now

Well, as most of you know, we’ve been homeschooling for the past six years. As it comes time that so many of my homeschooling and public school friends back in the States are starting up their school routines, it seemed like I should probably eventually just mention what we’re up to. And... drum roll, please... the three older kids are going to formal school this year!

WHAT?!? you ask. Okay, maybe that’s just me. I had to do a lot of thinking and praying and just taking deep breaths about this. It’s... different. And now for a Q&A.

Where?

A private Steiner/Waldorf school. The educational philosophy meshes with mine surprisingly well, and they do all sorts of awesome things.

Why?

Look, there are a lot of mixed up feelings about this, but I’ll try to sort some of them out. First, the facts: I had happily been planning on continuing to homeschool in Australia and had already connected a little with the homeschool community here. Then I kept on seeing Facebook stuff about the Steiner school here, and it looked honestly amazing. When we came here, there was an open house at Steiner about two weeks later, so we went to check it out.

It’s beautiful. The grounds are lovely and relaxing, the playgrounds are awesome, there’s sticks and dirt and rocks, there’s a garden and just... Well, we went and looked and I sort of teared up because I could tell it would be great, and I didn’t want to do it. The kids were excited about the possibility of another new adventure, of course, and they loved the grounds and met the teachers as well. So, to make a long story short, we signed up! They’ve been in school for term 3 for about a month now.

What’s cool about Steiner?

It’s very hippie. They have gardening, sewing, crocheting/knitting, music (the girls are doing violin, and there’s also recorder and lots of singing), morning tea (just a small snacktime in midmorning), time outside, bushwalks, festivals, etc. They do their lessons by writing their notes in big blank books and illustrating them, and the books are rather lovely in the end. The dress code doesn’t allow for branded clothing or images from movies and TV, etc. They have to wear wide-brimmed hats outside (the girls have worn them elsewhere, and many people recognize them as Steiner kids). Lunches have to be healthy, no packages and processed stuff (okay, this is honestly a pro—healthy!—and a con—eek! no bags of crisps or granola bars). It’s a very slow, rhythm-focused sort of school. Pretty much in philosophy it’s a lot of what I love about homeschooling, but I’m not doing any of it. The kindy area (and the teacher!) is so happy and soothing it makes me feel a little teary sometimes. :)

How are the kids liking it?

The kids are doing really well there so far. They love it and are having a new, very different experience. The 11yo went on a five-day class camp to Uluru and King’s Canyon, with camel and bike riding and hiking and all sorts of fun. She is also learning that the entire school day, every weekday, is tiring. She is handling it very well, though, and adjusting nicely. She got cast as Julius Caesar for their class play, and I’m definitely looking forward to seeing her get stabbed by all her classmates (as is she!).

The 8yo’s camp is coming up (a shorter camp), and she’s excited too, though a little nervous. She is my little creative dreamer, and I was worried that this transition would be hard on her. But her teacher is a lovely woman who understands that all kids have different strengths, and she’s made the 8yo feel at home and help her adjust. It’s lovely to see.

The 5yo has 3.5 days per week, and his teacher (as I already mentioned) is so fantastic. She reminds me a lot of a teacher he had at our homeschool co-op (Mary Kate, we love you!). So chill, so loving and right there with the kids, so focused in on them. Totally unflappable and really kind and just wanting to be supportive of the kids. The whole kindy area is enclosed with a fence to keep it protected and so no one can accidentally wander off, etc. There’s a huge play area with plants and buildings that you can climb in and a huge sandpit and stuff to garden and hammocks and... etc. It’s really lovely. The kids all bring a piece of fruit in the morning that gets cut up for snacks they can graze on when they’re hungry. They each have their own teacup for water. They have weekly breadmaking and a weekly vegetable soup (where the kids all bring vegetables and they make the soup). A weekly bushwalk. Lots of stories and playtime and some sewing. He is really enjoying it and seems happy to be going, and he gives me a giant hug when I come to pick him up.

This leaves me and the 3yo alone most days, which I confess is kinda hard. We’ve done errands a number of times, and we’ve done tons of baking together—more than I normally do. So there are advantages (the baking, the focused attention), but it’s also harder because I’m so used to having other kids helping to entertain him. It has been years and years since I’ve tried to do this with just one kid! It is not my favorite.

And how are you?

Well, there are lots of good things about this, but I’d be lying if I said I was thrilled about all of it. A lot of my negative feelings on the subject are wrapped in insecurities—did I do well enough with homeschooling? am I doing the right thing now? are others going to perceive this as giving up? or will they assume I have suddenly realized that homeschooling was a mistake? Blah blah blah, I could go on for hours about this. But the point is that there are lots of things I worry about, some stupid, some legit. The feelings, they are legion.

Also, I really don’t like being on the daily school schedule (though even that has its benefits—consistency in bedtime and getting up, which is a thing I’ve always struggled with). And having to prepare lunches every. single. day. is pretty much the worst thing ever (I’m only mostly kidding). And did I mention how much I dislike being on someone else’s schedule. Look, I know that’s normal for a lot of the working population of the world. But still, yuck. I almost blew a gasket the other day when I had to call my kid in sick. I am realizing more and more that I have a streak of rebellion, and I think it’s getting wider.

Did I do well enough at homeschooling?

Yes.

Am I doing the right thing now?

Yes.

Are others going to perceive this as giving up?

Maybe. But are they right? No.

Have I suddenly realized that homeschooling was a mistake?

This is possibly one of the things I hate most about the change—the idea that my friends who always thought I was crazy to do it will suddenly believe they were right. I mean, I realize this is stupid to be so worried over what people think, but there it is.

The fact is that NO, homeschooling was not a mistake. It was the right decision until now, just as Steiner is the right decision for the moment. Truthfully, my suspicion is that once this adventure is over, homeschooling will be the right decision again. (Yes, even in high school.) I think that’s the place they’ll do the best in the long run, both for themselves and for others.

Truthfully, I think that doing school for a while like this is going to give them a new appreciation for homeschooling. They knew intellectually, but not yet viscerally, about how much free time they really have always had to pursue their own interests. How little time they had to spend on formal “school” in order to finish all the work that was needed for their grade levels—or more. Now they’re learning it by experience. Both girls have mentioned that it’s so much harder to do all the things they want to do now. So we focus in on what different experiences and learning they’re getting right now—new things they hadn’t done before.

Truthfully, I may be wrong about what the future holds. I was wrong about homeschooling here, for now, so I could be wrong again. Maybe we’ll do... *tries to say the words, gasps* ... public school? (Look, I’m not trying to spit on all my friends who public school. I’m just saying it realllllly isn’t for me, and I’d rather not do it for my kids.) Maybe more private school. Maybe it will be a different style of school altogether. But I’m crossing my fingers and praying for homeschool again.

What will you do next?

Um, oops. I already answered that question above.

Time for another serious moment?

Yes.

I’m still having a lot of ups and downs about school, honestly. I see all the fun new opportunities that they have, and I’m happy about it. I see all the things that they’re missing out on, and I’m sad about it. I get asked what school my kids are in, and it just about kills me that I can just name a school instead of saying, “Oh, we homeschool.” I had no idea how much of my identity had been tied to homeschooling until I voluntarily relinquished it. It has, honestly, left a gaping hole. I’m still figuring out how to fill that and how to leave room for change in the future. The old adage about “the one constant is change,” blah blah blah... I’ve never been great with change, so I’m stretching those muscles and trying some new things. It’s hard, and I miss who I was. But I’ve always really liked Elastigirl, so maybe this is my chance to learn to be more stretchy.

But honestly, don’t you just love having everyone gone from home?

Ummm, the 3yo is still home. So it doesn’t really count. (And no, not really.)

Summary statement?

Change and flexibility and growth: good. Having to pack daily lunches: bad. Outsourcing lunch packing to children: good. Never getting to pack crisps or juice boxes: bad and good. Learning to make healthy muffins and yogurt and whole wheat bread: good.

Net effect of learning to change and do something new: grudgingly good.

Recent Epiphanies

1. I realized this week that with six people in the house who usually wear clothing, we produce a load of dirty laundry almost every day. Nudism is suddenly looking more appealing.

2. I was sitting on the couch, rocking a bit in discomfort, and wondering what fresh horrors my period was going to visit upon me this month, when something occurred to me: I'm only thirty-six. That means I have ten years more of this, give or take. Ten. Years. I just ... bleh.*

3. We do not have a psycho neighbor who keeps sawing away our aluminum ties that Brice keeps putting on our fences. Hooray! Apparently squirrels like to chew on soft aluminum. Squirrels. Sigh.

4. Other things that happen when you have six people: You can easily eat an entire cantaloupe in one meal. You have to peel more than three clementines. You go through a LOT of water. Also, dishes. You rarely have as many leftovers as you think you will. Your dining room table that seemed so big when you first bought it now seems like a regular size. There is six times the amount of fun and silliness, chaos, and laughter, and tears, and joy.

5. Today is the day that Mormon Lit Blitz posts my story! That means I should be putting some sort of effort into advertising it, right? Because writers need to practice self-marketing? So here's me advertising. (I'm sorry to say that I'm going to send you on a link parade because it's much easier for me than re-copying all the pertinent info here, so ... sorry, not sorry.)


*Warning: In case you were considering giving me all sorts of wonderful advice about how to make periods less awful, probably don't bother. Either I've already read and dismissed it, or it would require suddenly becoming a new person (e.g., drink more water, eat healthier, lose weight, exercise more, etc., etc.--all good advice, but all obvious, and if I'm not succeeding at these things for general health purposes, it's not going to suddenly happen because I have lousy periods).**
**Double extra warning: Really, really don't comment if you're just going to say how wonderful periods are and I should really embrace them because womanhood! motherhood! yada yada! If you are going to say something like this, you should just be grateful that you're saying it from a safe distance.

Scattered Thoughts

I’ve started avoiding blogging again because I only have little bits and pieces to tell, not any sort of coherent narrative of really anything. But that means stuff is piling up, so we’re doing another random pile o’ junk post. (Also, I started this a week ago, so it’s all old news, but I’m not going to try to fix any weird verb tenses or time references. Ptui.)

Major Minor Miracle. Yes, I know “major minor” doesn’t make sense, but here’s the thing: it was a total miracle to me, and really huge for that particular moment in my life, but it’s also ridiculously small. Yesterday I was so stressed out over preparing for our co-op’s class fair that is happening tomorrow. I had a list of performances on a sheet of paper, and I needed it so I could type up the programs for the fair, but I couldn’t remember where I’d put it. I’ve been on high stress about this activity for a while now, and this was the last straw. As I searched, I prayed—please, please help me find it. I looked in every spot I could think of that it could have possibly ended up, and I finally hit the last spot—the car—and it wasn’t there.

I came back inside the house feeling utterly defeated and on the verge of tears. Again I prayed. Please. Then my eyes wandered over to our fireplace mantle, where our family yearbooks are lined up, and there was the paper, sitting with the yearbooks. Exactly where I had put it and completely forgotten it almost a week ago. I was so grateful.

Koa the Earthling. This just barely happened—Koa walked out into the living room with a box on his head. He told Brice he was an earthling.

The Anthology! My latest gigantic and insane project is finally finished and printed and distributed! I’m enormously proud of it. It’s a collection of stories written by the teens in the writing class I’ve been teaching at co-op this last year. I’ll be posting more about it on my other blog soon and I’ll link there if I can remember. But let it just be said that it was a large undertaking and I am so thrilled to be done (but also thrilled to have done it).

Short Fiction. Speaking of writing, I have been returning to short fiction a lot lately and really enjoying it. It’s been so much fun, and I think I’m going to spend more time in short fiction for the next little while. I have several places I’d like to submit things to, so we’ll see.

Mormon Lit Blitz. Also speaking of short fiction, go look here! Pay particular attention to the entry for June 10th.

Mother’s Day. Brice is so wonderful. He made Mother’s Day quite lovely, as he always does. This year he made me a delicious breakfast frittata and said, “Fri-tada!” Complete with a “tada” gesture. It was pretty great, but it doesn’t translate on paper very well. Also, he bought me a lock-picking set! Yay! Now I can start learning a new skill. It comes with a see-through lock, which is pretty cool because then you can actually see the mechanisms, which I’ve never really understood before.

I love this about Brice—he is always supportive of my whims and desires to expand my learning, even when it’s silly.

Compliments. Okay, this is probably weird, but I keep two compliment files—one is informal, in my memory, and the other is actually in a file in my email. The email file is where I put emails or facebook messages or other communications that people sent me that were really touching and made me feel all glowy and happy. I get to go back and refer to it occasionally when I’m feeling particularly crappy. The other file is my internal list of the weirdest/funniest compliments I’ve ever received.

This last week, I got to add two potential compliments to the weird file.

1. As part of our class wrap-up, I was asking the teens what their future plans were with writing. Many mentioned how they felt about the class (overall positive), but this was my favorite: “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”

2. Driving home from church on Mother’s Day, Brice and I were talking about how our various parenting abilities had improved since the beginnings. I mentioned that I was much better with small children than I used to be (though still not very good), and he replied that he thought I was “pretty decent.” Which was both honest and amusing, given that he said it on the day we’re supposedly telling all the mothers how incredibly awesome they are. But actually, “pretty decent” felt like a pretty great compliment. It was real and completely believable (not like “you’re the best with babies!” which would just be a lie).

Must update photo! Holy crumbs, I just looked at the photo that’s on our blog header, and we are two babies behind. Yikes. I really need to fix that. Someday...

The end. Oh so many times in the past little while I’ve thought of something to add to a blog post, but I never do remember them long enough to add. So we’ll just end here.

Eating Glue, and so on

I managed to make it through 36 years of life without ever eating glue. Up until yesterday. Yesterday I was sitting at the table with my kids, cleaning up our lunch dishes at co-op. I moved a lid and felt something wet on my hand. It was a little white smear. They'd eaten go-gurts earlier, so I thought nothing of it and just licked it off.

Not yogurt.

The 6yo had a class project sitting next to our dishes, and the class project had huge globs of wet glue. Which is, of course, what I'd just eaten.

In case you're wondering, it was gross. Not the worst thing I've ever eaten (that would be horseradish), but I'd definitely never eat it on purpose. I had to eat an orange slice and a big bite of cake to try to get rid of the flavor, and even then it felt like it was sticking to my tongue. (Sticking. Har har.)

So, there's that item off my bucket list.


In other news, the 2yo is currently even more crazy about reading than his sisters. Yesterday morning he woke up around 5:30 wailing, "Read a book!" Which was pretty much how he'd fallen asleep the night before too.

Also, we were playing with wiki sticks earlier in the week, and I made the letters for the 6yo's name, so the 2yo wanted me to do it for him too. I did, and I spelled out his name while pointing at the letters. It was fun, and then he started jumbling them around and picking up each letter and saying it was his name. Good golly, 2yos are cute.

The next day while I was showering he toddled in (I have got to start locking that door!) holding a bunch of wiki sticks in his hands and saying, "Letters!" Also ridiculously cute. But you probably had to be there to understand.

On second thought, you shouldn't be there. Because I was showering and all.


Now for a teaser: Soon I hope to regale you with tales of our trip to Londontown and my giddy jumping-up-and-down excitement over getting to use a drop spindle. It was good times!

Also, maybe I'll get around to updates on my teen writing class and our epic anthology!

"After" Pics for the Room Makeover

Hey, remember when we totally redid the girls' bedroom for Coriel's eighth birthday? Well, I'm finally posting some pics. I don't currently have the "before" pics because that would have required me remembering to take some (my lovely sister D took some, but she's got them, not me). If I get them, I'll try to remember to add them here.

For now, here are the "after" pics. And when I say "after," I mean right after. Because within an hour or two, it was kinda messy, and it just has not been the same since. :)

Note the tie fighter hanging over the bed. Also, my sister K insisted she had to put those cute stripes of purple/blue around the bed because the previous color clashed. I mocked her for her efforts, because they would be only temporary (it's construction paper, and it's mostly gone by now), but she was right. It did look much better.

Sister D made the cute curtains. she helped me learn to make the two bulletin boards hanging above the blue chair.

See how beautiful and neat those shelves look? Sigh. Now they look a little like a junkyard.

Our artwork isn't actually finished, but I'll get around to it someday. The girls and I did these together.

One of my awesomest ideas ever, brought to life by the sewing sister D again. It's a bedcave! The little curtains can be taken down (they're velcroed up), and they can also be closed so that there's a little cave area under the bed. Good times.

I'm pretty sure every home decor show ever has the scene where you recover a bench or chair or something, and it's "just so easy!" So I decided I had to give it a try. This bench used to be a polka-dotted red, and now it's a lovely gray/white zigzag. It wasn't as easy as it sounded, but it was still not too hard. Thanks again to D, who found the perfect fabric and helped do it. She was just awesome in this process overall, and I wouldn't have been able to get it done without her and K helping me.

Doesn't it look so nice and bright and clean and uncluttered?

The awesome sister who helped make it better than it would have been without her.

Coriel being very excited about it.

Okay, it's a blurry picture, but it's still fun!

Because obviously tables are for standing on.

The bedcave curtains closed.

Fortune Cookie (and Other Oddments)

It’s that time again, that time when I write a whole bunch of random bits that have no relationship to one another. They also correlate with the size of my current attention span for blog topics—which is to say, short.

A while back, I got this fortune from a fortune cookie. I really like getting fortunes like these because they just feel like the universe laughing and I think probably the universe deserves a good chuckle once in a while.

Addra drew this portrait of me, and I think it’s the best picture of me EVER. Please note my awesome high heels. You only wish you could have high heels as cool as mine. (The drawing to the left was her first effort, which she was not happy with.)

 

 

I am officially due to have a baby next month. I am kind of all-around freaking out, but oh my goodness I will be so glad to not have all this wretched soreness. I mean, I’m happy to have a healthy baby and all that jazz, but I also kind of enjoy walking painlessly occasionally. Also, recently I’ve been going through some old family photos and I really look forward to having a (semi)visible waistline again someday.

As of today, 1 June, I am taking part in a 100 words for 100 days challenge. This is good because I haven’t been writing a lot lately and I could use a kick in the pants. I am, however, going to give myself a pass for the baby’s birthday.

Also speaking of the baby, we still have no name for him. I’m still going with He Who Shall Not Be Named, partially because now Coriel has caught onto that and loves calling him that.

Addra has a whole beautiful closet and several drawers full of wonderful, cute clothing. . . . She will only wear three outfits. She often wears at least two of them in one day, with her sister wearing the third one. When she does not get to wear one of these outfits every single day, suffering ensues. I am usually the one suffering. I am sincerely hoping this phase passes soon before one of us explodes. 

Add a skirt to either of these leotards (only two possible skirts,
though), and you have all of Addra's choices for outfits except one, her
"Hawaiian ninja" dress--which is really a sailor dress. Technically
I suppose that's more than three outfits.

Also, as always, I occasionally post at MMW and CalloohCallay Callay, but I don’t really bother to mention it here. So if you’re interested, go follow those blogs too. :)

And that’s it for now.